It is not as sad as it may seem
to be this girl in faded jeans
in love with lands she's never seen
For she may yet come to love
the woman she has always been

She is secretly proud of the grey strands that have begun to appear at her crown. Though occasionally she dyes them on a whim, she knows they remain sharp threads of silver beneath the surface. Time and history lie in each strand, as with the faint lines that are beginning to etch themselves into her skin, confessing years of laughter and times of sorrow to the world.

They reminded her that she has lived. She lays claim to them, like the rings of the tree that explain its history.

"I have lived and been broken and made whole, again and again. I am stronger than I am weak. There is so much left to do."

For Cath...

I have currently been on a reading frenzy, but after a series of very serious books back to back, I have been reading a lighter one called "Five Things I Can't Live Without".

Although the book is goofy, the title has me thinking about my five things. The problem is that they would change constantly... but for tonight, here is my list:

1) Hot tea
2) Books
3) The warm sun on my shoulders
4) Flip flops
5) The opportunity to travel

What are your 5 things?

"this path, this road that one perfect straight line even if it goes around the world through heat and fog and rain and snow and it's my life I keep thinking. It's my life."
-Deborah Keenan, "Small History"

"Maybe happiness is this: not feeling like you should be elsewhere, doing something else, being someone else..."
-Eric Weiner, "The Geography of Bliss"

"-the air so dry and clean, so settling, she was afraid to imagine a world without such untouched lovely places. She didn't know how she would live."
-Lizabeth Carpenter, "Small Life"

"When I close my eyes, the floor of my dream collapses. I fall through. Everything skews. I land, wholly awake, in an old, known place, but I am totally new."
-Joan Connor, "Broken Vows"

I love my hometown. I love that people are constantly optimistic that warm weather is just around the corner, even when it's -40. I love how doors are held open, strangers smile and say hello as you pass, jokes are made to lighten the tension in a crowded elevator. I love that the newspaper is read and discussed rather than reality television being the source of information. I love that pedestrians are EVERYWHERE and it's okay to walk to pick up groceries.

It's hard to describe all the subtle things I have fallen in love with since leaving Canada. These frequent visits up remind me that there are still places where neighborhoods are designed around parks and green spaces. Where sidewalks are built and maintained to encourage people to walk. Where a nations people still believe in taking care of all those among them. And where education and lifelong healthcare are rights, not privileges.

It is sometimes disheartening to return to the U.S. after my visits here. It is hard to hear of people going bankrupt from hospital bills and see money spent on advertisements for hospitals and clinics rather than on patients. But now, more than ever, I view the U.S. as a nation in progress. For the first time in many years, there is a president whose frame of reference includes all Americans, not just the rich and privileged. It is an interesting time to be a citizen of Canada and a resident of the U.S.

I guess we'll see what the next few years hold.

Random things...

I love this, it's from this weeks Postsecret


Congrats Winnipeg!!!

Upon request, here are the things I knocked off my list these past two weeks:

#8 Risk Failure
The hubby and I put a bid on a house this week. Looks like we will most likely lose it to the local university, since we can’t possibly compete with them on price, but we both agreed we’d rather go down trying then to always wonder because we didn’t try at all.

#9 Do one thing a month that scares me…
See above… lol

#20 Sit somewhere with a great view, a great friend and a damn decent bottle of wine…
Did this on Valentine’s day and will do tomorrow for lunch (minus the view and the wine most likely… lol)

#38 Drink more water.
I’m practically a fish now!!

What keeps us from questioning that which we don't understand?

I am confused.

It's true, this is not the first time. In fact, it happens quite often, but usually, I can ask a few people, do a little research and come away with an answer that helps me better understand. Sometimes, however, you come across something that defies all logic.

This is one of those times.

Although I have heard many comments about how I come from a socialist country and how "those poor Canadians pay such ridiculously high taxes", I have mostly taken this as a sign of ignorance. But since Obama has been elected (which restored my faith in the U.S.), I have heard these opinions not just from people around town, but now in the newspapers and other media.

Today, I read a newspaper article where the writer (who unfortunately for me, shares my first name) compared Obama to the Wizard in the Wizard of Oz (which in and of itself is not a kind comparison) and said that she was not going to wait for him to make the U.S. a socialist country.

What?!?!

I read it twice thinking that I must have missed the joke that was surely pointing fun at those who might actually believe this ridiculous notion. Nope. No joke. Just one person's opinion which represents the tip of the iceberg, unfortunately.

So, my fellow Canadians (and Australians) who follow this blog... let's open up the discussion. With all evidence to the contrary (including the facts that, on average, Canadians live longer, are healthier, are more highly educated, more well-read, and all things considered, pay taxes on par with their American counterparts), why is it that there is such fear in the U.S. of more government involvement in healthcare and education?

When I first arrived here, I too believed some of the hype. I was sure that Canadians must pay much higher taxes then Americans, since we receive subsidized university education and national healthcare. However, after seeing both my husband's and my own pay cheques, I can no longer say this is true. (Actually, I believe my reaction was "Woah!! Then where is it going?!")

My second stereotype, that of America having a terrific school system, was shot down after learning that Americans pay more per student for grade school education then any and yet test scores upon graduating high school fall well below the norm.

So... why do these stereotypes and fears persist and who benefits from them persisting?

My little brother and his wife had a healthy baby boy this weekend. I am officially an aunt. In addition to having a gorgeous little one to take care of, they will receive many presents, lots of attention, and a little tax money from the Canadian government. What they will not receive is a bill for the many months of prenatal care, the hospital stay, or the follow-up visits from their midwife and to their doctor. Our 'socialist' government, and the people such government is responsible to, believe that this is one of their most basic rights and the responsibility of all Canadians. We pay into the pot, we elect the government who oversees it, and as needed, we draw on it. Surely, there must be some who take advantage, but it is the will of the people to by and large take care of those who are in need. There is a definitely understanding that each healthy, educated Canadian helps to make the collective nation stronger.

So how is it that patriotism, something that the U.S. is world-renowned for, competes with collective strength? Incredibly high numbers of Americans do not graduate high school, and with further education being so costly, those in the lower classes find it ever harder to break into the middle class.

How can anyone believe that Obama's government spending and reallocation will push the U.S. into a socialist structure, when surely they must have to come to terms with the fact that Bush's spending almost (and it remains to see if it already has) destroyed this country's economy. Am I to believe, as the earlier mentioned newspaper reporter obviously does, that unregulated spending by a government is simply a part of democracy, but having the people request that the new leadership take steps to get the country back on track, is socialism? And how is it possible for anyone in this day and age to deny that the Bush legacy will affect the world's economy for years to come?

Obama is not the Wizard of Oz. He is, however, the unfortunate one who had to pull back the cloth for the world to see that there was not a great and all knowing one after all. There is no Wizard. Instead, there are 306 million people who are being asked, for the first time in a long time, to take part in their government and the rebuilding of their nation.

Electing Obama was not the end of this crisis. It was the beginning of a dialogue. It is an example of democracy and an education of what that word actually means.

306 million people help to decide what happens from here on in. But certainly, for whatever disputes and discussion the future decisions will raise, everyone now has the ability to be involved.

"All things change when we do …" -Kukei, The Zen Poems

"I doubt sometimes whether a quiet and unagitated life would have suited me - yet I sometimes long for it." -Byron

The longest post ever...

I am reading this great little book called "Dream It, List It, Do It" which is essentially a compilation of all the things listed at 43things.com which is a website where people publicly list the things that they want to do or change about their life and then also report their progress.

Sounds a little crazy right? But the idea is that people are more likely to stick to a resolution or change if they tell others about their goal. It would seem that we are perfectly happy to let ourselves down, but slightly less likely to do so with others.

So, in a spirit of positivity, plus the fact that most the people I love in the world do not live within 2000 miles of me, I am going to list the things I am hoping to get under my belt in the coming year. Some of them are practical, some are a little wild, and others are just goofy. The plan is to knock off one thing a week. Leave a comment and let me know what's on your list!

52 Things for a year of 52 weeks:
--------------------------

1) Figure out what motivates me.

2) Learn the art of bonsai.

3) Learn to ride a motorcycle.

4) Learn to rock climb.

5) Put $100 a month into an 'Adventure fund'

6) Swim with sharks in a cage (just to clarify... I would be the one in the cage... not the sharks!)

7) Dive into the ocean from a cliff

8) Risk failure

9) Do one thing a month that scares me (see #6 and #7)

10) Leave everything a little better than I found it.

11) Make someone else's dream come true.

12) Donate toys to a children's hospital.

13) Volunteer at a wildlife centre.

14) Give something away for every new thing I get.

15) Smile at strangers. (I actually do this quite often... which seemed more normal in Canada. Here, people look at me like I'm about to try and sell them something... lol...)

16) Grow my own vegetables and herbs.

17) Save money to travel abroad

18) Start piggybank saving again.

19) Surprise someone at least once a month.

20) Sit somewhere with a great view, a great friend, and a damn decent bottle of wine.

21) Accept compliments.

22) Turn off the television. Cut off the cable.

23) Remember that it is all temporary.

24) Spend the day in a hammock

25) Go fishing with my dad.

26) Send postcards to people I love.

27) Organize regular video chats with those I love who are far away.

28) Go whitewater rafting.

29) Learn to kayak.

30) Go skiing or snowboarding.

31) Try a new recipe every week.

32) Never eat at the same restaurant twice for 6 months straight.

33) Become a vegetarian.

34) Go to the farmer's market every week and cook from what's fresh.

35) Collect more music.

36) Take Chris on a date to a blues club.

37) Volunteer.

38) Drink more water.

39) Hit the gym or go for a run at least 4 days a week.

40) Pay a visit to the evil dentist.... (okay, maybe he's not technically evil...)

41) Get in killer shape.

42) Get a massage.

43) Take my dog to obedience training (although he is already practically perfect...lol)

44) Be happy in my own skin.

45) Do things that make me a better person rather than just things that make me feel better.

46) Celebrate our anniversary every month.

47) Sit in a tree and watch the world go by.

48) Spend more time on the beach with sand between my toes.

49) Get more sleep (and a better mattress)

50) Lie in a meadow, forget everything, and just feel the sun on my skin.

51) Sit by a lake and watch the sunlight on the water.

52) Play soccer again.

And a few more things I'm hoping to squeeze in:

- Sit outside during a spring storm.

- Eat a piece of fruit right from the tree

- Watch the sunrise.

- Swim in the ocean

- Take more photos. Put them up. Remember.

- Take a cooking class.

- Go to an amusement park and spend the whole day.

- Go bowling

- Spend an entire day at the library

- Go to more lectures & films

- Ride my bike more

- Feed the ducks.

-Go horseback riding.

- Hear more live music.

- Read in bed every night before sleep.

- Write a little everyday.

- Learn a new word everyday.

- Read a book each week for a year.

- Self-publish one copy of a book of my photography

- Buy a toy at a toy store just to goof around with.

- Take a hot air balloon ride.

- Colour an entire colouring book.

- Update my address book

-Clean out all my closets and cupboards

- Complete a physical challenge that pushes my limits.

- Go on a road trip without a set destination.

- Take a girls-only trip with my favourite friends

- Do something more daring with my hair

- Take dance lessons

- Go dancing more often

- Have something I write this year, published.

- Build something.

- Skydive.

Such a change is in the air...

I have had a difficult time (which is no surprise to those of you who follow this blog) living in the United States during the last few years of the Bush administration. I grew up in a country full of hope, a broad world view, a population that seeks education, that cares for one another as a high priority. I grew up in Canada and although many on both side of the border think that the U.S. and Canada differ only by degrees, this was simply not my experience when I moved here. I was faced with a level of racism, prejudice, ignorance that I had simply not known at any other point in my life.

When Obama won the election, I cried. I couldn't help it. I had begun to believe that Bush was not an anomaly, but a symptom of the priorities of the U.S. people. My husband and I had spoken often about whether or not we wanted to raise a family here.

Today, with the inauguration of Barack Obama, I do not think that those in the U.S. can fully understand how differently the rest of the world now views this country. In Canada, we have long believed that each country must be strong and moving in a positive direction in order for the entire world to improve. This was not what we saw happening in the U.S. during the two terms of the Bush administration. We saw a backsliding on policies, human rights, and a focus on individual priorities rather than a country's drive to care for those who make up its population.

I am proud to be here today. Although I am a Canadian, and will never give up my citizenship to the country I love and whose values I truly believe in, I feel hopeful for this country to which my husband belongs. My children (one day) will be dual citizens of Canada and the U.S. I hope they will be as proud of both of these countries as I am right now. I hope they will feel that they can and should question the status quo and seek change. I hope they know that we should always hope for something better, but that we need to make change in order for things to improve.

Congratulations to the United States of America. You have done the whole world proud today. We look forward to the next four years (and hopefully longer).

My words would fill all the books on these shelves if I could only bring this pen down on paper.

If I could, I would tell a story...

A small request...

This is a request from myself (and I can guarantee... many many women in America as well) for American men to stop honking horns and yelling out from windows as they drive by women on the street. I realize that in some animal species, this is how you express your interest, but we are, afterall, slightly more civilized than the average monkey. At least I like to think so.

When we are walking our dogs, going for a jog, or simply taking in the warm sun on a December day, it is quite awful to hear honking or yelling from a passing car. We are not dressing to impress on these outings. We are taking a little time for ourselves, and although I know that you may simply be expressing your appreciation that there are in fact women in the world still (which I agree, is a great thing!), perhaps you could do so silently?

Furthermore... slowing the car down and leaning out the window or yelling out to us from across the road simply means that you are scaring or pissing off our dogs, and one of these days, we'll just let them off the leash (accidently of course), to remedy the situation.

I realize that some men do this because they actually want it done back to them. Perhaps they daydream about taking a stroll and women honking or leaning out windows to appreciate that there is, in fact, a man on the sidewalk. This is not going to happen 99% of the time boys. I'm sorry to be the bearer of bad news.

"The first fall of snow is not only an event, it is a magical event. You go to bed in one kind of world and wake up in another quite different, and if this is not enchantment then where is it to be found?"

- J. B. (John Boynton) Priestley


It has yet to snow here, which I know I should be more than used to after spending last Christmas in El Paso and the two previous in Thailand, but I do miss the white blanket that signals the holidays are near. However, I also realize that one must always be careful what one wishes for... :o)

Happy Holidays to all of you, wherever you find yourself.

A night out with C & M