The smartest thing Homer Simpson ever said...

"If a woman says "Nothing's wrong"... something is wrong.
If a woman says "something's wrong"... EVERYTHING is wrong.
And if she says something "isn't funny"... you sure as hell better not laugh your ass off about it!"

:o)

Hmm.... Empire, Saturday?

"The thing is, sometimes people don't say things out loud because they don't like the way that it sounds..."

(Sex & the City)

What have you been afraid to say out loud?

but honey... you can't save the world...

... and I didn't know what to do...
how to save her.

The things they taught me in segments,
chapters,
articles,
and unrealistic examples.
And all of this with four years and a piece of paper that says I can...
but I can't.
Don't know how.
Not even sure that I have the energy to try.

Before now,
I was sure I only needed to reach out,
pick her up
move her away from it.
But they never told me how it follows them
(with muted grays and promising whites).
with everything but colour.

They didn't explain how her beauty would dull while she was near it.
In it.

They didn't say that she would still smile
and laugh
and lie
and lie.
Maybe they didn't know.

And I tried
and tried
and tried...
but she wouldn't listen.
couldn't listen.

and I stood by...
helpless with my piece of paper that says
I should have been able to do more.

Ode to an iPod

Oh little iPod,
How I covet thee.
You are so smooth and simple,
yet so complicated to me.

Oh little iPod,
With music so beautiful and true.
I love your pretty colours
Pink, green and blue.

Oh little iPod,
How I would love thee.
I am a simple girl,
Who loves rock and reggae and R&B.

Oh little iPod,
I'll wish upon a prayer.
And come one day soon,
I know I'll check my credit card statement...

and you'll be there.

:o)

Once again, this website http://postsecret.blogspot.com is amazing. It changes every week I think, so check it out.

I love the ones about lost loves... surprised? ;o)

Favourite quotes of the day...

"Not all those who wander are lost." (unknown)

"Why do I have to get married? I didn't do anything wrong." (unknown)

Hmmm...

In my last few jobs (CAI aside), I started at the bottom and was quickly told by higher ups I greatly respected that I had 'management potential'.

Do you ever wonder if people see you correctly? Or if maybe they just see something in you that you don't yet see in yourself.

On the other hand...

Maybe I'm just looking at this totally wrong...

Maybe I shouldn't have the anxiety attack until I am 90 and realize that I haven't been anywhere, or seen anthing outside of this city.

I have never been overseas even! So really, I should only feel anxious if I don't go!

Okay... I like that rationalization better.

:o)

Major anxiety attack!

Okay, so I am still totally excited to go to Seoul, but now the anxiety has begun to kick in. You know the usual drill: Am I doing the right thing? What if I hate it? What if I get sick? What if something happens to my family while I'm away? What if....

I've started packing up my apartment, I have a major class presentation tonight, and am going on about 4 hours of sleep... so that may have something to do with how I am feeling.

Everything is just so unsure right now. My dad's surgery, my future career (or lack thereof), travelling overseas... God! Crazy!

I guess it is completely to be expected to be a little terrified and doubting my decision, right? (quick! someone say something comforting!)

New York City and Cosmopolitans all around!

So, I laughed my a#$ off last night. It's amazing how much fun you can have, not really doing anything with people you love. The girls came over and we had dinner and played a Sex & the City trivia game, and we laughed til we cried.

Things we learned:
Alcohol is good, but good friends are better.
Charades is hilarious when you add a little Filipino to it!
No matter what Jerilynn rolls, it will be a six.
I am an absolute klutz, especially when fire or glass is involved.
No matter what the question is, the answer is small p$*%#
And yes... our minds are as dirty as any guy's!

Okay, so it's the choice of one of two jobs, but it looks like we are definitely going! Maybe even as soon as the end of July. Wow!!! I am going to spend my entire 25th year in Korea! How insane is that?!

I've been packing up my place in my spare time to get ready for the move to Korea. I am much more nostalgic about this place than I would have thought I would be.

This apartment is the first place I spread my wings. The first place I lived on my own. The first major thing I did after my first major relationship ended. This was the first place that I sat and really thought about what type of career I wanted. It was the first place where I lived with a guy (yes, shocking... I know. I actually let someone into my space! Well... sort of, right? You did get a closet to your own. :o)

I have really loved this apartment. It is not perfect (much like the person that resides in it!), but it was absolutely perfect for me. I have made every inch of it my own. My style and personality is reflected on every wall and in every piece of furniture or decoration.

I've been trying to figure out how to take this feeling of comfort with me to Seoul. I was able to take this blank canvas and make it home by adding very simple touches, but will that be possible on a totally different continent? Did this place always feel like home because I knew my family was so close by? Will Jeril and I be family enough to keep the inevitable homesickness to a minimum?

I have class tomorrow (Managing in a Changing Environment @ the U of W)... so I really should be in bed already...but you know me... my mind is racing.

Want to see what I'm getting myself into?

This website http://ihaveseoul.blogspot.com is from a Canadian guy who's teaching English in Seoul. He seems to be having a pretty great time. I've learned tons about what to expect from his site, which is nice.

Are Jeril and I really crazy enough to do this? :o) We'll see...we need to decide on a school this week most likely. Crazy!!

How do you ever know that you are making the right decisions in your life? How do you keep yourself from looking back down the fifty million paths you could have taken, instead of the one you are walking down now?

At what point do you just take hold of the reins and stop treading so lightly and say "this is the way I am going to go!" and never look back. Is that even possible? Does everyone question their decisions like me?

What a strange experience...

I'm moving out of my apartment at the end of July, (hopefully to go to Korea!) and so I have my caretaker showing people through my place. It's the wierdest experience. They come in, look around, and decide if they can see themselves there. If they can see their pictures on the wall in place of mine, their bed where mine now sits.

It's odd. I wonder if they take guesses at who I am while they walk around my place. I wonder if they guess which one I am in pictures that hang on the wall, or if they read my wacky kitchen magnets. I wonder if they giggle at the strange combination of exercise equipment, chandelier earrings and fifty million books lying around. I wonder if they think they know a little bit about me by seeing my place.

Maybe they do...

Either way, it's a totally wierd experience.

Seoul Sisters?

I really hope that Jeril and I get to go to Korea together. If we go in August, we will have been friends for 10 years... isn't that crazy!

I'm sure that everyone who goes has their own reasons... I'm just not exactly sure what mine is yet. Of course, the money and the experience are high on my list... but I think that part of it is that I really fear being 60 or 70 years old and thinking "I wish I had done more... seen more... lived more." I am afraid of getting married, having kids, being tied down to a life that I'm not totally sure that I want or am cut out for.

I have made some mistakes in my life that I have let hold me back for so many years. Things that I have finally accepted as making up a part of my past, and it is an incredible relief to move on from them... and now this amazing opportunity to live in another country and have some new and exciting experiences.

I hope we get to lie on a beach in Thailand and a maybe see the Terra-cotta warriors in China.

I don't think I will regret going... but I might regret not going.

Finally! Something worthwhile on the internet!

The link below is to an amazing blog... you should definitely check it out. It makes me think about all the secrets we keep from the people we love, and from ourselves.

http://postsecret.blogspot.com/

Do you have a secret you are keeping?

Interesting thought!

I am officially the first woman in my family to graduate with a university degree. That's actually pretty cool once I get to thinking about it. My family gave me such a great foundation and so much support along the way.

So what do you think, Jeril?! Will we be sitting at a cafe in Seoul this time next year? I bet I'll be the first woman in my family to do that too! :o)