Things I'm looking forward to...

I'm looking forward to seeing my family when I head home for a week at the end of July. Hugging my mom and dad and little brother, sitting on the patio and looking out over the city with some great conversation, having a coffee on Corydon and people watching, checking in with my friends, and my brother's wedding of course! I'm also excited about seeing how big my baby cousin has grown, giving my grandma and aunt and uncle a big hug, and hopefuly (fingers crossed) getting to see my Auntie Sue (my namesake and mom's bestfriend), since its been a long time! Oh, and playing with my parents dog... cause I really miss a little canine stress therapy with a certain personality-filled chihuahua.

I am loving my time out here in Korea. I'm having the time of my life and meeting amazing people and discovering all sorts of things about myself. But I am looking forward to a few more things about being back in Canada:

1) Ordering something, and actually getting what I asked for in a restaurant.

2) Being able to substitute something on the menu for something else (do this in Korea and they'll look at you like you asked to have someone shot)

3) Italian food that actually tastes like Italian food!

4) People saying please and thank you (especially when you go out of your way to hold the door for them)

5) People holding the door open for me after they walk through

6) Being able to read EVERYTHING on a menu or at a movie theatre... even the fine print!

7) Canadians!!! I love you guys!!! So polite, smiling, and laid back!

8) People who say what's on their mind... rather than waiting til it blows up to mention it (DON'T ROCK THE KOREAN BOAT!! GOD FORBID!)

9) Sarcasm!!! A sense of humour!!! Goofiness!!!!

10) Canadian boys, for having the above, and for never taking themselves too seriously! Oh, and for being bigger and taller than me! (AND for changing OUT of the tie and jacket every once and a while!!) (Hmmm... actually, sounds like my favourite American boy!)

11) Canadian girls!! For not checking their makeup in every single reflective surface and for wanting more out of life than to just get married and get rich!

12) Not being asked (in this exact order) Where I am from, What I do, How old I am, and Am I married.... (in about five seconds of me getting into the cab or sitting down at the table)

13) NOT BEING ASSUMED TO BE RUSSIAN!!!

14) Blue sky

15) Fresh air!

16) Soap in the restaurant bathroom

17) Having a bathtub!

18) Being able to look out from my parents patio and see for miles!

19) Walking on a sidewalk that's meant for people, not cars!!

20) No one spitting on the street inches from my foot!

21) GREEN!! Green grass! Green plants! Green trees!

22) Cars that come in colours other than black, white and grey!!

23) Girls who wear stilleto heels only to get dressed up! Not to go hiking or grocery shopping!!

Oh... my goodness... there are a lot of things I'm looking forward to. Wasn't til this week that I started to get really excited about visiting home!! YAY!!!

Love and miss you all! See you soon!

On the horizon

There are so many interesting things coming up in July that I'm sure the month will just fly by!

First of all is Canada Day on July 1st! Andrea (our fellow Canadian and sadly... ex-coworker) will be coming back into town for the summer this weekend!! So us girls will be out in full force! (Just like old times) ;o)

The weekend after will be Jeril and my North Korea trip with Adventure Korea.

The weekend of the 16th will be the Mud Festival, which we'll also be doing with some of the girls from school and Adventure Korea.

Then, I'll be heading home for just over a week! Back to Canada to see my family for the first time in almost a year! My little brother is getting married and I'll be able to be a part of it. ;o)

Wow... looks to be a busy summer. Jeril will be leaving at the end of August to head back to Canada... so we'll have to do our best to make every weekend count. In August, hopefully we'll be able to fit in one more trip to Osan and a trip to Busan as well.

How can I not love this lifestyle!!!!

"He has learned to live with his contradictions."
(quote from author Paulo Coelho)

I love this quote so much. I think that this is one of the principle things that I want for myself and for my life. To learn to live with my contradictions... to accept them... embrace them... maybe even celebrate them.

I struggle so much with my contradictions... almost daily it seems. I am, at once, a party girl, a bookworm, an intellectual, a realist, and a pessimist. I am at once driven and scared of success. At once a hippie and a yuppy... a tomboy and a girly girl.

I live with all of these contradictions... and faced with them, I wonder if maybe I just haven't figured out who I am yet. As though one day, it will simply come to me... and everything will fit more neatly then it does now.

But in all honesty... who can be easily defined? People try to make it simple... they ask you what you like, what you see, what you want... but depending on my mood... on the light through the windows... on my experiences that week... the answers are always different.

I hope that I can learn to live with my contradictions. Though I think that may take a lifetime.

I'll be honest... I love the rain. I love the monsoon season... the sound of the rain on the rooftops... against the windows... hitting the street. I love the downpour... the clouds before it... the smell after it.

It makes me want to get cozy, in my slippers and pj's and cuddle up with a good book, or quiet movie. It makes me want to reflect... or sleep... or just stand still for a while, looking out at the rain.

The rain drowns out the sounds of the city... of the taxis and buses and conversations in a language I still can't master. It leaves in its wake only a type of music and rhythm that I love and seek out by opening windows and sitting silently in the dark.

The heat of the day is broken by the rain. The ground sometime sizzles with the first cooling drops.

The rain will have brought down the curtain of smog, and Seoul will be brighter and the sky bluer once the rain clouds pass.

Sometimes, you have to survive the downpour, to be able to see the sky.

Random pics from the last few months...

Teachers from our school on a trip to Everland



Reading to the Pandas on a fieldtrip



Another 'classy' shirt on Girls Night Out



Christian... handsome as always


Rachel, Brent and I at Everland (waiting 2 hours for the rollercoaster that lasted 20 seconds!!)


Girls Night Out in Korea with our favourite co-workers

For a little perspective

I think that the current Iraq war has affected me unlike any other because for the first time in my life, I am meeting people who have just come from the war, or are leaving to fight there. Being in Seoul and meeting American military has given me a different perspective on the war. Whatever I may feel about it politically, the fact that many men (and some women) my age are dying there cannot help but have a very strong effect.

Part of CNN's website tracks the Iraq military casualties to date. Over 2, 800 soldiers from all over the world have died in Iraq to date. You can see the ages as you scroll down the page.

Most of them are 20 - 26 years old.

Whatever you may feel about the war, you can still respect this loss of life.

So it's official...

I've officially decided to stay in Seoul for six more months after my contract has ended... which means eight months from right now. I've re-signed with my school because I looked around and I'm very comfortable where I am and I will get to continue with my class. I'm pretty crazy about these kids after spending the better part of a year with them... and lately, they've been making leaps and bounds with their learning.

I think that the fact that I like teaching actually makes it seem this way, but my job is honestly so easy. I mean, granted, it can be very tiring sometimes, and you have to learn patience on a whole new level... but once you decide to take things as they come and not stress out (because I still believe that this is simply a decision you make, and not simply a personality trait), then everything just kind of flows. I know these kids really well now... I know what most of their motives are... what makes them tick... so teaching them is so much simpler.

Tomorrow, we have parent teacher interviews all day long. I know that a lot of people stress out about these, but I have resigned myself to the understanding that I just have to be honest (though someone politically correct and diplomatic) and make sure the moms know how important the kids are to us as teachers. If they are unhappy about something, there really is very little that I can do to change their minds. I know that the kids are happy and doing really well in the class, and that's all I really can ask for.

Korea tried so hard to beat the crap out of me... and instead, it just taught me to chill out. I take my job seriously and do it well, but I don't stress out like most do. It's not that I don't care... in fact its just the opposite I think. When I can see a situation calmly, I can pick my fights and act a bit better.

And to be totally honest, sometimes ignorant people are simply ignorant people. Like the mom who said that she didn't think I was canadian because my accent didn't sound british. Her rationale was that 'Canada is a colonized country you know!". LOL.

Seriously... what else can you do but laugh at that?

Lately, I find humour in everything...

like there was this one time that I went to the docter cause I had a cough and she said I had to be hosptialized with pneumonia...

;o)

See what I mean? This is some funny stuff!!

Does he know?

I wonder if my father knows how incredibly essential he is in my life. I think I have told him... I am almost sure of that. But what if he still doesn't quite understand?

I have been away for almost a year. Caught up in a life I would have never expected and yet have settled into so easily. And I think that it is a bit of a curse, to raise your children as well as you two did. Because if you raise them to seek out new things, to seek happiness, to have confidence... then you are almost guaranteeing that they will one day have the strength and need to travel and see the world... and thus, to leave you.

I sometimes forget that he may not know how much he is on my mind. I sometimes forget that he doesn't see that every time I step out into a foreign country, or a new situation, I take everything he has armed me with, with me... and it is what gets me through. What you have given me over the years is why I bounce back so quickly from the bad and am able to constantly seek out and enjoy the good.

In case I don't say it enough, (and because I know that you still don't quite believe me), please understand...

You are every reason why I am who I am.

I love you Dad.

Happy Father's Day.

I will see you at the end of July. :o)

Another awesome weekend...

I have had so much fun here in Seoul. I've met so many interesting people and been introduced to so many different worldviews and individual perspectives on everything under the sun.

There is a quote from a movie I once saw that goes something like "People will tell you who they are, if you just listen."

I am so grateful for the experiences I have had in the past nine months, and for all the ones to come.

Happy Birthday Gavin!!

Elizabethtown...

I just finished watching a movie called Elizabethtown. I love this movie! I picked it up at the video store on a whim... and am SOOO glad that I did.

Check it out if you have time... it's not a cheesy romance movie, I promise.

Being this far away... you can almost forget for a minute...

So, after feeling down last night, I talked to my mom. The funny thing is that when you are so far away from someone, you can almost forget how much you need their guidance. Almost...

Thanks so much Mom. I felt so much more at peace after our talk. It put a lot of things in perspective for me.

I can't wait to see you guys in July!

What is up with these mood swings?!?

So one minute I'm on the top of the world and the next, I'm about to cry... what is up with that?!

Usually, I'm pretty even... and since being in Korea, even with everything that's happened to me here that wasn't necessarily good, I've still been happy to be here and be me and be at this point in my life. But now comes the anxiety of a year ago when I was trying to decide whether or not to come out here in the first place and 'interrupt' my life back home.

So many things are going through my head right now that (although it sounds stupid), I can't think! Should I stay in Korea? Should I leave and travel Thailand and Cambodia? Am I getting too old to live a life where I am so 'unsettled'... or is stepping out of my comfort zone and living each day and experiencing all these things actually starting to live my life... period.

I guess that life is all about decisions... and once you choose one... you just have to go with it and not look back... or at least not too often. But how do you go about choosing the one?

The culture shock/homesickness that everyone talks about hitting you when you go abroad has finally snuck up on me I think... or is it more than that...

I don't know... like I said, I'm all over the place these days. Maybe all I need is a good sleep and a fresh perspective.

How can you not love a country that loves soccer like I do!

F$%king amazing night!!! I went for drinks with Cath and watched the warm-up to the Korea/Togo game... and then watched the rest on my own in a restauarnt in Gangnam with about 150 Korean fans. It was freaking awesome!!!

In case you are slow on the uptake, Korea won 2-1... I have to say that I was a naysayer and didn't have high hopes for the boys, after all the buildup and pressure they were under. And it looked like I might have been right in the first half... but never underestimate those Koreans!! They dominated the second half and made it super exciting! I love this sport so much!!! I had almost forgotten!!!

Thanks Korea, for helping me remember how much I adore the sport I played all those years. I won't forget ;o)

Should I stay or should I go?

My choices are to sign for six more months, put more money away for travel, have some more adventures in Korea and then move on... never to look back..

OR

to leave when my contract ends at the end of August and travel Thailand and other parts of Asia... and possibly go poor doing it and head home with very little money to finish my P.R. program at U of Winnipeg.

Please... any insights anyone has... let me know. Cause at this point, I'm not sure if it take more courage to stay and or go.

About female teachers and military boys in Seoul...

Okay, so this post has been long in coming.

I've now been in Seoul for about eight or nine months, and have met some awesome people. Both people I work with and people out and about. Some of the best guys (and some of the worst) that I have met since being out here have been U.S. military boys.

This is an odd occurance for me, since being Canadian, I'm not really all that used to being around military.. or americans for that matter. Although some individuals certainly do fulfill the stereotyps that come to mind when one pictures and american military guy, many also blow the stereotype out of the water and survive the culture of the military with a pretty great personality in tact.

But who would have thought that female english teachers and american military guys would mix so regularly in an Asian City. How strange. I mean, who here hasn't walked into Gecko's for a little taste of home on a friday or saturday night? So is that the main allure?

I'll be honest, most of my friends will admit that compared to a lot of the male teachers that we interact with, military guys are in better shape and generally just better looking, and the initial attraction is of course important, but what is it that brings so many North American teachers and military guys to Itawon to mingle?

The wierdest part about this situation is that as much as everyone is just out to meet and have a good time, sometimes you actually meet someone that you click with... but eventually one (or both) of you have to leave Korea to go back 'home'... wherever that may be. The same is true for the many friends you make while you are working out here.

Maybe part of the attraction is that as different as our jobs might seem to be (military versus teachers), our lifestyles are quite similar sometimes. We are all here for an experience... to step out of the box. We are having a great time, but missing the closeness that you have when you meet people back home and can hang out with them on a more regular basis. As much as we are all aware of the fact that things here are finite and have a definite expiry date, it doesn't make much of it any easier.

At first, the lifestyle is fun. You can stand in a bar and meet people from all over the world and from all different walks of life. But once you say goodbye to enough people (don't forget to email, Christian!!! They better have laptops in the desert for you guys!), it starts to feel a little sad.

The biggest difference between the lifestyle of teachers and military here is the freedom. As a teacher, I decided to come out here and I can decide when to leave. No one tells me what to do in the meantime, and I certainly don't have to abide by the ridiculous 1am curfew thing.

Still, as old as Itawon gets after several weekends in a row, it is still a bit of fresh air in Korea. It's nice to talk to new people in English and the bartender always understands my drink order!

Otherwise, what are we looking for when we seek out the same club, in the same part of town... weekend after weekend?

Seoul

Seoul and I have a strange relationship. In fact, it's often downright dysfunctional. But the thing is that when you live in a city of this size, especially one whose culture is not your own, you develop a multilayered and complicated relationship with it.

There are times when I hate every last inch of it. It's uneven sidewalks, crowded streets, constant rumble of traffic, suffocating smog and grey buildings. But just as I have decided it is time to leave it, and began in the rejoicing of doing so, it starts to reveal itself to me.

It is not a beautiful place in a typical sense. It is not green, or natural, or even beautifully constructed. But it does hold some of the most amazing people I know. It is always awake if I want to explore and often reveals small side streets, or hidden parks of beauty just when I least expect it, but need it most. Everytime I cross one of the Han River bridges, I can't help but be in awe at the sheer size of it and it's seemingly endless possibilities for adventure.

I made the decision to not renew my contract earlier this month, but since then, the city has take on a new sheen. My health seems to be 100% and the weather is beautiful. Perhaps the city finally realized that it may have pushed me one step too far with this last health scare, and its not ready to have me give up on it just yet.

Although 'home' will always mean the place where my family is, this has definitely become my home while I am here. The experiences I have had and the people I have met here will change the course of my life forever. I know I have changed in ways that I'll only truly understand when I go back to the place that I left. And I hope I will never forget what I have learned this past year... that you only get to do this whole damn thing once, so you better make it count.